(Image: Wikimedia)
1 year, 365 days, daily morning 25 minutes (one pomodoro) is what it took me to plant a meditation habit.
Plant sprouted with Aniket Rai’s initiative on 100-day habit building. It was a detour for his reading cohort. Aniket had created a WhatsApp accountability group and I joined it.
I had learned meditation, and know its benefits. The following Quote is one of my favorite quotes. It triggered the habit.
“Are you growing spiritually? Can you love others? Can you feel oneness with others? Have you peace within yourself and do you radiate it around you? This is called spiritual growth, which is stimulated by meditation, inwardly. And by work done in a spirit of service outwardly.” (Emphasis mine).
But I was never able to meditate as a part of my routine. I was never able to do it consistently.
And consistency is the key to reaping the benefits. I joined the cohort to help me plant a sturdy habit.
I followed ABCD of habit building. This is taken from BJ Fogg, a Stanford scholar’s book “Tiny Habits”. A – Anchor (An already established habit/routine in your day), B- behavior to be planted (meditation), C- celebration (kicking dopamine inside you). (You can find a quick summary of the method on Slideshare. I prepared it for my classes and coaching sessions. (Slide share link).
The journey wasn’t easy; sometimes I struggle to sit and meditate.
This small and quick blog post has some struggles, and obstacles as the beginning.
Anchor, I used is the morning routine. I used to wake up, visit the washroom, brush my teeth, get fresh, and meditate. Anchor is fixed. It is not going to change anytime. Hence it will always work as a trigger to establish the habit.
You may think the anchor is stable, fixed, and will support. But that may not be the case. You wake up every morning, but still, it may not support your habit.
A few problems that I have observed are:
First, you may not have slept in time. Even if you wake up with or without an alarm, you will be sleepy, groggy, and won’t want to sit.
Second, if you have worked late (often not in your control), or browsing something, on mobile, or at a social event, you may not be able to wake up (And yes it all happens).
Third, if you had a late dinner or heavy dinner (Often happens at socializing events, birthdays, office parties, and all), you will not be able to wake up or you will be drowsy.
Fourth, for some reason sleep is disturbed. (Some music going on, some calls disturb you at night, or you are struggling with sleep itself). if your sleep is not sound, you will be drowsy in the morning and not at your best.
Fifth, if your early morning time is missed, you may think you will do it later, but then the busyness of the day creeps in! Family demands kicks-in. Morning tea time will beg for attention. Someone needs to be dropped off at the school or station. Something needs to be picked up from the corner grocery store. And your mind will start playing the office-office and work! Making it almost impossible to sit quietly.
Forget about meditation, even your morning routine will go for a toss!
In my opinion, our mornings are very important. (I blogged on it earlier and did a speech) Most of us are best at that time (Unless you are a night owl). Environment, phone, world everything is silent at that time. It is the best time to dedicate to any deep work. If you want to protect it, if you want to use it. Just brush aside other things.
Then sitting itself will be the next challenge.
The next challenge is to make the mind focus.
And then the real challenge -are you doing it the right way?
It is a long and steep journey. It’s like going to Mount Everest and just the first step is taken.
After a year of struggle, I deeply appreciate the discipline of those who meditate for years!
Monks – who wake up every day at 0400 or 0500 AM and meditate for a couple of hours, that too year after year. It starts with habit but requires strong willpower.
Just think about the feat – Buddha achieved – and the sheer willpower required – when he sat under the Bodhi tree. He resolved, that he would sit there till he reached the goal of realization, the goal of Nirvana. Legend says – it took him 49 days/7 weeks, to sit cross-legged without any disturbance!
It made me just humble. There is no achievement in habit building. It is just the ability to sit at a place for 25 minutes. That’s it.
The accountability group helped. Another member Normy helped a lot as a fellow travler.
I read some books on the subjects <link>,
And I will blog some later time on the challenge of sitting itself.
And a post or two on the struggles in focusing.
One important thing I realized is the “Celebration” or “Dopamine” kick is not needed for meditation.
Certainly not – once you can sit for some time. The act of meditating itself is so soothing, and calming. It will help you to dive deep into your mind. This diving itself is good enough, one doesn’t need any external celebration or dopamine kick to firm/solidify the habit.
One more key takeaway is reading, talking/discussing have value, but very less compared to “doing”. That’s where the rubber meets the road. That’s where the real struggle begins.
More on this at some later stage.
Stay tuned to the blog, particularly the tag <Meditation> on this blog.
Thanks a ton, Aniket, and @Normy for all your support in the journey.
(I may blog more on this topic – summaries, reviews of books, articles that I read on this. stay tuned or follow this tag/label meditation. Thanks)
