What’s the best gift for our loved one, for someone near and dear to us?
Sometimes our gift makes one happy, but most of the time they show that they are happy!
How do we ensure that they will be truly happy, blissful, and bubbling with joy?
We gifted a book to our daughter on her 17th birthday.
A father developed the Idea, Mother brought it to life.
Father is a thinker, the Mother is a doer, and the daughter is the Author!
She became a writer with the book.
I too, aspired to write, and haven’t yet written.
I have mixed feelings of joy, surprise, and moments of learning.
Surprise like a deer caught in the bright headlights.
Learning why I haven’t written anything yet.
This post is the reflection of that gift, joy, surprise, and why it is the best gift.
Her mother ensured the print copies reached home on her birthday.
Words are her own; she wrote the stories.
A few of her stories are award-winning in various school contests.
One story she wrote in Rashmi Bansal’s workshop featured on Rashmi’s blog.
She has grown up as a reader and now graduated as a writer. Reading comes from her father (I do read and may graduate to writing). I have no doubt she will be successful like her mother.
A teacher inside can see a solid foundation of basic competencies. Competencies of reading, writing, and speaking (presentation). These are a foundation for any lifelong learning!
This write-up is about the gift, that solid foundation anyone can gift to others.
A teacher, parent, mentor, and coach all must gift such a solid foundation.
I reflect on three things. First, what to gift and when to give it? Second, the effect of it, and third, what makes the best gift.
First) What to Gift and When?
Chocolate, Cakes, and Sweets (Kuchh meetha ho jaye.) are the most common gifts.
We grab them on the go.
It serves the occasion.
You may make the cake more personalized with name, and features.
A friend, who is a book-lover, received a cake from family members shaped like book stacks.
You can get sweets that someone likes, he/she will appreciate that.
You can make the gift more personalized with a book, clothing, or perfume.
You can increase the stakes and buy a jewellery.
A two-wheeler, car (Yup that was a gift from my wife), and vacation are pricey gifts.
Researchers are strange folks and they study weird things.
Researchers have come up with a relationship of how much to spend on the gift and when.
(Esquire Gift Model – Source)
So daughter turning 17 deserves a big gift!
But we gave her a book. Book of stories that she wrote herself.
Will that make her happy, joyful, blissful?
Two) Effects of Gift
We went for lunch in a Thai restaurant on her birthday.
She likes Thai food and I like it too.
Then we walked holding hands, talking about her stories to a nice garden.
It was a bright, sunny day with pleasant weather.
She took photos and made reels for Instagram. Things that teenagers do.
Look at some of the photos.
She was bubbling with joy and energy throughout the day.
The effect wasn’t only till unwrapping the gift.
The effect wasn’t only a surprise.
Effect lingered on the day, spilled on the second day, and continued the day after day.
And I am certain, that the effect will remain forever.
Third) What makes this the best gift?
“People want gifts that are useful and reliable and meet their needs” (1)
That’s always better. A cake or sweet is useful. but see if you can make it more useful, something that is of daily use.
A pen, coffee maker, cardholder, or similar.
An MBA student gave me ha and made book-mark with a quote, I used it almost every day. I cherished it more. It’s still with me!
Much better, if you could create an experience. Once I worked with a busy marketing head to create a finding such lasting experience with his spouse. Busy careers takes its toll on family-life. Last time I checked he continued with that.
But creating experience is tricky. You need to know the person deeply. (1)
For that one needs to connect. Not once or twice, over a long term.
For example: a teacher connects over a course. That’s a good time to know the person. Mentor or coach connects over a period. That’s a good time to know the person.
For a father, it starts with bedtime stories. Or with playtime in the home. Or playing on the outskirts.
I found the walk towards the school, is the best to capture these moments.
The time you walk you get a glimpse of not only what he or she likes, but what teenagers value. What they like and what they value are different.
What are deeper career aspirations? It’s not what they say when asked about what they want to become. Answers like engineer, doctor, and architect are often socially desirable answer.
What brings meaning to your child?
And then you may be able to infer something that will create a long-lasting impression.
When I realized she is not only reading but likes writing. I was hunting for writing instructors, classes, and teachers. I couldn’t find them.
Rashmi Bansal’s short workshop proved to be very useful. (I sense an acute need for reading/writing inputs and I am experimenting with one workshop currently.).
And then growth continued.
Sometimes, I was the first reader.
Sometimes, she came cribbing, when teachers changed her story.
Sometimes, she brushed me off, “You won’t understand”!.
These experiences are priceless.
It’s not the book, it’s not the object, it’s not the gift that is important.
It is the experience that shaped you is more important.
It is the experience that shaped your son or daughter is more important.
Such experience connects you deeper.
Such experience connects meaningfully.
And then it becomes the best gift.
Then giving the gift will be much more joyful, and blissful than receiving the gift. (2)
Go ahead and plan your gift.
Enjoy the bliss of giving.
In the end, the best gifts are those that create lasting memories and deep connections.
References:
1: https://theconversation.com/the-4-biggest-gift-giving-mistakes-according-to-a-consumer-psychologist-195169
2: https://hbr.org/2020/12/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-giving-people-gifts
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